The Supercar Registry - Women ... hmph

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- - Women ... hmph (https://www.yenko.net/forum/showthread.php?t=98412)

MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS...

AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE
DAY AND SAID, "HONEY, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP
CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I
GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD GAL. NOW I HAVE A
$500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, A NICE BIG BED AND A PLASMA SCREEN
TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT
YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT
21-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE
LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED
AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE
CRISES!

Re: Women ... hmph

I've been taking an arabic language class, just for giggles, lately. It was rather interesting to find out that the arabic word for "fat" is the same word used for "expensive".

So I guess the next time the wife asks: "Do these jeans make me look fat?" I will simply respond: "Of course not Dear. They make you look expensive!" https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...mlins/grin.gif

Oh, and by the way, they use the same word for "prison" as they use for "wedding ring." https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...mlins/grin.gif

Re: Women ... hmph

A female Filipino friend of mine told me that in Tagalog the word for love and expensive are also the same.

Re: Women ... hmph

Not to hijack a perfectly funny post but that is one of the thing I have been noticing: there are certain words, I guess you would call them root words, that are just about the same in most languages. Sugar is one, in arabic it's sokhar, in spanish azucar etc. Makes you wonder what the orginal root language sounded like before the "Tower of Babel" fell.

Then again, television is televizon in arabic, televisione in spanish, etc. I guess them thar Babelonians had some darn good TV technology back then. https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...mlins/grin.gif

Re: Women ... hmph

I keep hoping they'll teach us some good swear words! A buddy of mine took the same class. He left me a post-it note on my computer screen at work and told me to "ask my teacher was it says."

No way I'm fallin' for that one. https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/no.gif

Re: Women ... hmph

My grandfather once told me "Women are an expensive luxury!"

Re: Women ... hmph

[ QUOTE ]
My grandfather once told me "Women are an expensive luxury!"

[/ QUOTE ]

...that no man can afford! https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...mlins/grin.gif

Re: Women ... hmph

[ QUOTE ]
I keep hoping they'll teach us some good swear words! A buddy of mine took the same class. He left me a post-it note on my computer screen at work and told me to "ask my teacher was it says."

No way I'm fallin' for that one. https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/no.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

that reminds me of these movie clips where the Greek boys are getting the outsider to say dirty stuff. very funny.

Re: Women ... hmph

[ QUOTE ]
My grandfather once told me "Women are an expensive luxury!"

[/ QUOTE ]One thing I have noticed now that I am 35 and still single, is that many of the women I date have more money than I do.

Re: Women ... hmph

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My grandfather once told me "Women are an expensive luxury!"

[/ QUOTE ]One thing I have noticed now that I am 35 and still single, is that many of the women I date have more money than I do.

[/ QUOTE ]

Because they have gotten all that money from their ex-husbands. https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...mlins/grin.gif

Re: Women ... hmph

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My grandfather once told me "Women are an expensive luxury!"

[/ QUOTE ]One thing I have noticed now that I am 35 and still single, is that many of the women I date have more money than I do.

[/ QUOTE ]

Because they have gotten all that money and vintage Firebird from their ex-husbands. https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...mlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Women ... hmph

Al BundY: "Women. Can't live with 'em. The end."

Re: Women ... hmph

When I read this thread....can't help but think of the old W.C. Fields line.

"Women are like elephants...nice to look at, but I wouldn't wanna own one!"

https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...lins/beers.gif https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...ns/naughty.gif

Re: Women ... hmph

Ah, W.C. Fields - a fine man of character ...

 Before Marriage 

http://www.duckprods.com/scrapbook/w...01fields_1.jpg

After failed marriage 

http://www.quantumworks.com/images/wcftorso.jpg

Here are a few quotes from "The Man":


WOMEN and MARRIAGE

"No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree."

"(A woman) drove me to drink. It is the one thing I'm indebted to her for."

"Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one."
(Mississippi, 1935.)

"Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive."

"Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of."

"Ah yes, she's a fine figure of a woman, isn't she? A handsome lass if there ever was one--and exceptionally well-preserved too."
(and)
"A plumber's idea of Cleopatra."
(Fields' insults about Mae West on the set of My Little Chickadee, 1940)

"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."
(Fields' offhand remark, after asked about a fake moustache he wore on stage)

(Asked if he believed in clubs for women, Fields responded:)
"Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails."
(From: Humorous Anecdotes About Famous People by Lewis C. Henly, 1948, Halcyon House, NY.)

"Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's wife unless she's a beauty."

"I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad." (Original source? "Borrowed" from "A Tribute to W.C. Fields" website.)

(To the question: Do married people live longer?--Fields responded:)
"No, it just seems longer."
(Attributed to The Bank Dick, yet the line doesn't appear in the film .)

"I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck."

Drum, Drum, Cymbal https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...ns/naughty.gif