Christmas cancelled because of?
 

I was going to bring you gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we’ve had a little problem this year.

- It all started with the 12 fiddlers fiddling, who have come down with VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing.
- The 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking.
- The 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a swimming.
- The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my ears in bird shit.
- On top of all this! Mrs. Claus is going through menopause …
- 8 of my reindeer are in heat …
- the elves have joined the gay liberation movement …
- and some people who can't read a calendar have re-scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.
- So may I suggest that you get your butt down to Walmart before everything is gone.

Merry Christmas, Santa