[Ryan1969Chevelle]

This is what I shared at Dad's funeral.

Preparing and delivering this note (and I had to say it out loud to my family a few times to be able to get through it) was a little bit of therapy for me.

Ryan



Eulogy Nov 12, 2016
Ralph Merrill Weaver
So here we are……….
What is the meaning of all of this?
Why are we all here?
Put your hand in the air if you are here for Church lady sandwiches.
There must be a reason?
Everyone has changed their plans,
We got haircuts,
People trimmed their beards,
We got all gussied up,
Yes, REAL Church lady sandwiches made by REAL Church ladies are downstairs.
But why?
Greg quizzed us on Dad, and crafted a sermon.
Not like this, I just wrote this in the parking lot………… I don’t even know how it ends……… but yes, hopefully it will end soon.
People are expecting someone from the family to share stories about Dad and maybe cry.
I know we all have stories about Dad and of times spent with Dad, and of selfless things he did for us without any want for glory or thanks……….
My stories are no better than any of yours……….

I will share a few stories (we all have lots) and we can come back to this:

On a cold November morning three Weavers embarked on an adventure.
All the preparations were complete.
Dad’s truck was full of fossil fuels, a rented trailer was loaded with care, my old car was lashed down so tight we probably stretched the whole car a wee bit.

Dad dragged my old car all the way to Chicago Illinois to show it off in its dusty, rusty, Barn Find glory, and dragged it all the way home.
We spent five days together Dad, Jamie and myself, setting up the display, making friends with car guys from all over, helping out with show preparations, checking out the best, shiniest muscle cars from North America, eating hotel food, there are no Church lady sandwiches at car shows.
We had a wonderful time, every second!!!!

I always try to keep a close eye on anyone who comes with me to a car event to try to make sure I don’t take my obsession/passion way too far and bore them.
I watched Jamie and Dad all weekend and maybe for slightly different reasons but they truly enjoyed themselves and got right in on the festivities.
Dad would say to me repeatedly “do you remember when you opened the trunk and all those Oldsmobile experts rummaged through all the rusty parts in the trunk.”
Of course, I remember, but it meant to me that Dad was loving being part of his grown son’s passion and sharing his life with his grandkids.

Another Gem of a story that comes to mind is when Papa and Emily spent a lot of time together building a car and a house out of wood and screws and you name it.
Dad would help Emily with each step but not overtake the project.
Dad took the time to show the kids some tricks and some tips even though he could have zipped through it in a heartbeat. (clearly not the point)

A big part of Weaver fun for a lot of years was boating, one day in particular we remember was a Good Harbor day with Mom, Dad, Adam, Deanna, Amy, and myself. Mom and Dad made food and drinks and welcomed us for the day. Dad blew up a mattress and pulled us around with the dingy. Boating was a great way for Mom and Dad to get away and also have fun with family and friends.

I remember one day after Dad and Adam had returned from a bike trip, they had a great trip and on the way home there was rain, rain, rain, and more rain. Dad described the trip as a wild and wonderful adventure. He was so happy to share in our lives and these little adventures were a favorite of Dads.

Mom and Dad’s long awaited first grandchild was new on the scene and my Dad broke the mold.
Dad made special arrangements to visit during the day at perfect, agreed timing between feedings to take Emily away from Mommy on walks in the mall.
Can you imagine the beam on his face?
He had to be careful not to keep her away too long so Emily wouldn’t get upset or new mommy (Amy) wouldn’t get upset. (What Papa could ever strike that balance?)
I think we can all picture Dad calling Amy from parked up the street to show up at just the right moment to take this little pet for a walk.
After Jamie arrived Dad made special arrangements to take both kids out in the double stroller.
Involvement in one’s grandkids life is a decision just like all things in life.
Dad decided he was going to go big.

Back to the question at hand, why are we here?

As far as I can tell we are here to let a little more of Dads spirit seep into us.
We are here to support each other in our sadness and loss.
We are here to learn a little bit more about Dad, we all know him in different contexts.
We are here to grieve and to find closure on a life well lived but also closure on a life that has ended.
We are here because we should be here, My Dad would want me here, so I am here.
We are here because we have been shown great respect by Dad and now we need to show even greater respect in return.
We are here to make up for any missed opportunities with Dad, and we all have them.
This is a board meeting with god to share a message with Dad that we never wanted to see you sad or hurting, or sick, or disappointed, and we REALLY didn’t want to see you mad.

I think the bottom line is not really WHY we are here, the bottom line is just THAT

We ARE Here Dad.