Good, Better, Best

[SSJunkie68-69]

GOOD



Madison, WI policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but

wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem- a 12-year-old boy

was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR

TRAP AHEAD". The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was a

bit further down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket full

of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)



BETTER



A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an

automated radar po st in La Crosse , WI . A $40 speeding ticket was

included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.

The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.



BEST



A Young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Wisconsin State Trooper

walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I

bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball. "He

replied, "Wisconsin State Troopers don't have balls." There was a

moment of silence. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car

and left.

[mockingbird812]

[Xplantdad]

Tom, those are a hoot! Thanks for sharing!

[SSJunkie68-69]

WHICH ONE APPLIES


Guts or Balls? There is a distinction. We've all heard
about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the
difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, and to
alleviate further confusion, the following definitions are listed
below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the
guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to
ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.

[Hylton]

[ QUOTE ]
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

[/ QUOTE ]

[Dog427435]

[b]TOP TEN TIMES IN HISTORY, WHEN USING THE "F" WORD WAS APPROPRIATE

10- "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!" -Noah, 4314 BC

9 - "How the @#$% did you work that out?" -Pythagorus, 126BC

8 - "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" -Michelangelo, 1566

7 - "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" -Custer, 1877

6 - "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" -Picasso, 1926

5 - "Where the @#$% are we?" -Amelia Earhart, 1937

4 - "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." -Einstein, 1938

3 - "What the @#$% was that?" -Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

2 - "I need this parade like I need a @#$%ing hole in the head!" -JFK, 1963

And,.....drum roll, please, The number 1 most appropriate time for using the "F" word:
"Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"- Bill Clinton, 1997