joke

[parkbrau]

Yup.

[SMS]

The Art Collector




A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and

asked to speak to his client.


"Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."


The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so

let's hear the good news first."


The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed

me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that

she thinks will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million.. and I

think she could be right."


Saul replied enthusiastically, "Holy cow! Well done! My wife is

A brilliant businesswoman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now, I

know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"


The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary."

[gredert]

funny joke

[Denis]

I went to the zoo.

All they had was one dog.

It was a shitzu.

[dykstra]

I’m officially an old crotchety bastard! Stay off my lawn!!

[Too Many Projects]

But what really happens when you ask for help with an erection lasting more than 4 hours??? I walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male Pharmacist. The woman I was speaking with said she was the only pharmacist and since she and her Sister owned the store, there were NO Male employees. She asked if she could help me. I said that I really would have preferred to speak with a male pharmacist.?? She assured me that she was completely Professional and whatever it was that I needed to discuss, I could be confident that she would treat me with a high level of Professionalism. I reluctantly agreed and began by saying,“This is tough for me to discuss, but here goes. I get erections every day that last more than four hours. This condition causes me a lot of problems and embarrassment. So, I was wondering what you could give me for it” ??? The Pharmacist said, “Just a minute, I’ll talk to my Sister.”When she returned, she said, “We discussed it at length and here’s the absolute best we can do...
Free room and board...
1/3 ownership in the Store...
a Company Car...
a King Size Bed,

and $2,000 a month in Living Expenses

[Lynn]

True story.

Back in the 70s a friend and his wife just finished watching a documentary about male prostitutes in Germany. The pros were getting paid $5 a pop (so to speak).

He jumps up from the couch and says: “I know where I am going.”

Runs into the bedroom and starts packing.

Wife: “Where the hell are you going?”

H: “I am going to Germany to be a male prostitute.”

Wife throws a suitcase up on the bed and starts packing.

H: “Where the hell are you going?”

W: “I am going to Germany and see how you live on $5 a month!”

[dykstra]

[Too Many Projects]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRJw...nnel=BradUpton

[Mr70]

A Pastor entered his donkey in a race for the first time and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey,that he entered it in another race,where it won by a wide margin.The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was upset with this kind of publicity,so he ordered the Pastor to not enter the donkey in another race.The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
That was too much for the Bishop,so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.The Pastor then decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.The local paper posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.He then informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey,so she sold it to a farmer for $10.The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
The infuriated Bishop then ordered the Nun to buy the donkey back,and let it loose in the country where it could roam wild.The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

They buried the Bishop the next day.