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  #631  
Old 08-02-2019, 08:38 PM
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In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

"MEN NEVER LISTEN"
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  #632  
Old 08-06-2019, 08:47 PM
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  #633  
Old 08-09-2019, 11:35 PM
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  #634  
Old 08-10-2019, 05:40 PM
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Sleeping with Bob

The guys were all at a deer camp -- no one wanted to room with Bob because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt and kissed him good night. Bob sat up and watched me all night."
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  #635  
Old 08-11-2019, 07:26 AM
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1974 Z28, M40 Camaro
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  #636  
Old 08-11-2019, 09:52 AM
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Why did I get divorced?

Well, last week was my birthday and my wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday in the morning before I went to work.

My parents forgot too and so did my kids. I got into work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. I was really sad because everyone had forgotten my birthday!

But then as I walked into my office, my secretary smiled and said to me, “Happy birthday, boss!”

Because everyone else had forgotten, I felt so special so when my secretary asked me if I wanted to go for lunch with her I jumped at the chance.

After we’d eaten lunch, she invited me back to her apartment and again I jumped at the chance. When we got there, she asked, “Do you mind if I just go into the bedroom for a minute?”

“No problem, I’ll just wait here,” I said.

Five minutes later my secretary came back out of the bedroom with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!”…

While I was waiting on the sofa… naked.
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  #637  
Old 08-11-2019, 09:53 AM
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A woman walks into a pharmacy one day and says to the pharmacist, “I’d like a poison that’ll kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes.”

The pharmacist says, “Ma’am, not only can I not do that for you, I’m going to have to call the police and report you.”

The woman takes out something out of her pocket and hands it to him. He looks at it and sees that it’s a picture of her husband having sex with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist says, “Oh, you should have told me you had a prescription.”
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  #638  
Old 08-12-2019, 07:51 PM
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  #639  
Old 08-12-2019, 09:28 PM
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  #640  
Old 08-12-2019, 11:19 PM
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