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  #671  
Old 10-14-2019, 01:04 AM
L16pilot L16pilot is offline
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"I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses.


A young lady walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today? "


I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator."


She didn't quite know how to respond."

Reminds me of a true story that happened several years ago. As one of several regional sales managers for a large corporation, we would all gather annually with upper management for a territory review. One of my former co-workers, (Canadian), was reviewing his region with management when the account North River Boats came up. The manager asked "what do they produce?" and without hesitation, the regional manager replied "bicycles". After a brief silence, the room burst into laughter. I miss that guy.....
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1970 Z28, Norwood 03A, 48 48, 723 Int, M20, COO, 2021 Legends Platinum restored
1970 L78, Norwood 04C, 17 17, 711 Int, M21, COO, born-with drivetrain project.
1972 Z28, Norwood 11C project, born-with drivetrain, 26 26, 775, M20, CGG project
1970 Z28, Norwood 05C, 48 G, 720 Int, M21, COZ, Original Unrestored (SOLD)
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  #672  
Old 10-14-2019, 06:28 PM
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  #673  
Old 10-28-2019, 01:30 PM
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A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"

The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step, the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd, sure enough, get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs......

"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"
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  #674  
Old 10-29-2019, 12:25 PM
Charley Lillard Charley Lillard is offline
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The Man Who Gave Up Sex for Golf


A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes.

"Boy, I’d give anything to sink this putt", the golfer mumbles to himself.





Just then, some stranger walks up beside him and whispers, “Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the putt?"




Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen, so he says, "Sounds good to me," and promptly sinks the putt!




Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gosh, I wish I could get an eagle on this one."




The same stranger is suddenly at his side again and whispers, “Would it be worth giving up another quarter of your sex life to make an eagle?"




Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." And, amazingly, he makes the eagle.





On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, “Could winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?”




"Definitely," the golfer replies, and sure enough he makes the eagle and wins the match.





As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks along beside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I’m Satan, and from this day forward you really will have no sex life at all."




“Nice to meet you," the golfer replies. "I'm Father O'Malley.”





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  #675  
Old 10-29-2019, 01:05 PM
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Old 10-29-2019, 01:05 PM
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  #677  
Old 10-31-2019, 09:22 PM
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Old 11-11-2019, 12:29 PM
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  #679  
Old 11-11-2019, 06:00 PM
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  #680  
Old 11-29-2019, 02:46 PM
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