joke

[m22mike]

Luigi walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store twice every day.

Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes.

He wants those shoes so much...it's all he can think about.
After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.

Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement.

Luigi seizes this opportunity to wear his new Armani leather shoes for the first time.

He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her,
'Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?'

Startled, Sophia replies, 'Yes, Luigi, I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?'

Luigi answers, 'I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes. How do you like them?'

Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks,
'Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?'

Rosa answers, 'Yes, Luigi, I do, but how do you know that?'
He replies, 'I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes. How do you like them?'

Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Luigi asks Carmela to dance.

Midway through the dance his face turns bright red. He states, 'Carmela, be stilla my heart.

Please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight. Please, please, tella me this true!'

Carmela smiles coyly and answers, 'Yes Luigi , I wear no panties tonight.'

Luigi gasps, 'Thanka God, I thought I had a crack in my $300 Armani leather shoes!'

[Craig_Maiorana]

[img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/biggthumpup.gif[/img] [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/haha.gif[/img]

[earntaz]

Mike, Mike, Mike -- don't buy any Armani shoes ... HeHehe -- good one!

[67 Nova Boy]

A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed.
As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around.
She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. Because she was so worried, she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.
In a calm voice, the husband said, &quot;Honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day?&quot;
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, &quot;Yes, I remember that jewelry store.&quot;
He said, &quot;Well, I'm in the bar right next to it.&quot;

Dave
67 Nova Boy

[mockingbird812]

[img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/haha.gif[/img]

[earntaz]

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
&quot;Amazing,&quot; he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, &quot;What am I doing? I'm too old for this!&quot; And pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, &quot;Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go.&quot;
The old gentleman paused then said: &quot;Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.
&quot;Have a good day, Sir,&quot; replied the trooper.

[m22mike]

[img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/haha.gif[/img] Good one

[markinnaples]

Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds like an awesome weekend, if you don't know what those two things are.

[earntaz]

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, &quot;Y'all graduated from the University of Jawja and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?&quot;
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, &quot;Everthang but my earrings.&quot;

[earntaz]

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest nearly fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, &quot;Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?&quot;
Murphy said, &quot;I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat.
I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday.
I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So,
I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat.&quot;
The priest said, &quot;WELL, MURPHY, I NOTICE THAT YA DIDN'T STEAL McGLYNN'S HAT. WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND?&quot;
Murphy replied, &quot;Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all.&quot;
With a tear in his eye, the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said,
&quot;After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh?&quot;
Murphy slowly shook his head. &quot;No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat.&quot;