Is there a way to approach a family about a loved ones cars?

[southernfriedcj]

13 years ago a friend of mine lost his 16 year old son to suicide. He shot himself with a 30:06.

3 years later, my friend Jay could no longer take the pain and he shot himself as well.

I'm 57 years old and those are the only two funerals I have attended.

Jay was a subcontractor of mine. We were friends and we hunted together and we attended car shows together.

We were both Pontiac fans and he had a '73 Trans Am and a '70 GTO Judge that were among his favorites.

I wanted to purchase one of those two cars from the estate for sentimental reasons but I did not know any of his family members so I decided to just let it go. I did not want to bother them or seem like a vulture. He had a brother that was into cars so I figured they were in good hands as far as selling them if they went that route.

Well, yesterday an acquaintance of mine died from a heart attack. I've know him for 17 years or so. We were not close, just casual acquaintances. Neighbor down the street, kids went to the same school, he would stop by when I had one of my cars out, ect.

He has(had) a '74 Trans Am he got as his first car when he was 16(I believe he was the original owner). Basically a survivor car he kept all these years and drove every now and then.

Is there any tactful way to approach his family about the car? Waiting period?
I'm not trying to steal the car, and I'm not a huge fan of the '74/'75 cars, but it's a cool car with a cool story and I wouldn't mind being the care taker of it and making sure the family got a fair deal.

What say you? Let it go or say something at some point? His wife may call my wife because he would call me every now and then asking about the value of the car. I saw him out jogging last week and I almost stopped to ask about the car. The guy was an avid exerciser and appeared to be in excellent shape.

[bbbentley]

You send a card expressing your sorrow for the family’s loss. I would say something to the effect that you have admired his car from afar. Even more so the story the car holds as it was shared to you by the deceased. Then mention that you would like to be the next care taker of that car, if the time and opportunity ever happen and the decision to sell is made? Tell his wife that because (deceased) owned it that it would have a special meaning to own the car.
That’s not being a vulture, tactfully mention your desire at the bottom or back of the card, then wait for an answer.

[southernfriedcj]

Rest in peace.

Carter was the Special Agent in Charge for the GBI's Atlanta office. He retired from the GBI after 31 years and then served our local Sheriff's office for the past 6 years. He was an intense dude.

https://www.onlineathens.com/news/20...gbi-agent-dies

[southernfriedcj]

I ran across Carter's car for sale.

Looks like someone bought it and is flipping it unless they are helping the family to sell it.

Seems high to me. I would think 15k on the low end and 20k on the high end.

https://www.hemmings.com/classifieds...m/2448434.html

[SS427]

In my business I run into this quite often with parts and/or cars. I have always let it go and never inquire as I just felt it was a conflict of interest for me and think the family would assume I am just trying to profit on their loss. I have lost out on some really good parts and cars so I too am following this to see the best way to approach it. Sometimes the families will approach me and that is different and can deal with that.

As a fireman/EMT I also have been on scene of a few deaths over the years where people are big collectors of parts/cars or memorabilia. I also have to walk away from those unless they bring it up to me.

[169indy]

Thoughts While not directly towards your initial question:
My buddies & I very rarely openly talk about this, just dancing around the subject; One exception is a Guy with a Convert (with significant Value i.e. Over 50k he intends survivors or designated reps to sell on open market and donate to local children's hospital) & most importantly it IS documented in his estate planning documents obtained via his Family Law provider.

One strategy I have talked to my Spouse about My Hot rods is to Involve my Certified Trusted local appraiser to determine the Various Values at my Passing. She has the Business card. Then set some Friends and family values to "OFFER" them to known circle of Friends for first opportunity to purchase outside of the open market. Most Family are not interested or in a position to pursue this Automotive lifestyle. Secondarily the estimations will help survivors to work the various marketing avenues to liquidate the stock, Word of mouth (Friends-Family-Clubs), Craigslist, BAT, Ebay, Hemmings etc.

This is a VERY unavoidable difficult Subject. Understatement of the Year! 2021

[WILMASBOYL78]

No easy answer to these types of questions...but, it does help to point out the need to have a plan...where do the cars/parts/junk go when you go to the big drag strip in the sky???

I'm not planning on checking out anytime soon, but 2021 will be the year of getting 'organized'. I hate to think of Karen having to deal with all the aggravation and legwork.

Anyone who wants to be listed in the will, just send your contact info

-wilma

[southernfriedcj]

Originally Posted by SS427

As a fireman/EMT I also have been on scene of a few deaths over the years where people are big collectors of parts/cars or memorabilia. I also have to walk away from those unless they bring it up to me.

I was an Atlanta Firefighter and spent a lot of time in the ghetto. I never ran across any good cars but I did pick up a rust free CJ7 and a rust free first gen Bronco Explorer. That was back in the 90's.

[Charley Lillard]

You might explain it to her just like you explained it to us.

[bergy]

My friends and I always kid around about how we're going to buy the cars of whoever dies first cheap at their sale! A little graveyard humor :-(

I do have a couple of cars that I bought from dear friend's estates. They aren't the best/rarest cars, but I'll never sell them.