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  #621  
Old 07-15-2019, 09:50 PM
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Lee Stewart Lee Stewart is offline
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A senior citizen from Port Huron, MI drove his brand new Corvette stingray convertible out of the dealership. Taking the on ramp west on I 94, he floored it to 80 mph enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left.

“Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I 94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear-view mirror, he saw a State Trooper behind him, lights flashing and sirens blaring. He floored it to 100 MPH, then 120, then 150. Suddenly, he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this,” and pulled over to await the troopers arrival.

Pulling up behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is my Friday. If you can give me a reason I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, “years ago my wife ran off with a MI State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

“Have a good day Sir,” replied the trooper.
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  #622  
Old 07-15-2019, 10:08 PM
Crush Crush is offline
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Ha!! Port Huron is 45 min from my house....!
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  #623  
Old 07-15-2019, 11:42 PM
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Ha!! Port Huron is 45 min from my house....!
Michigan: where we measure distance in "minutes" rather than "miles".

K
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  #624  
Old 07-16-2019, 03:15 PM
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Ha!! Port Huron is 45 min from my house....!
----20 minutes from mine......Bill S
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  #625  
Old 07-16-2019, 04:46 PM
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----20 minutes from mine......Bill S
Or 30 miles....
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  #626  
Old 07-16-2019, 06:46 PM
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lol - 30 miles in 20 minutes is makin' good time.

An hour and 15 minutes for me.

K
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  #627  
Old 07-16-2019, 07:27 PM
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  #628  
Old 07-19-2019, 05:03 PM
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During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No," he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
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  #629  
Old 07-30-2019, 02:07 PM
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  #630  
Old 08-01-2019, 07:59 PM
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