Senator Kerry is a saint

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On a Saturday afternoon in Washington, D. C., Senator John Kerry's
campaign manager visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral. He
told
the Cardinal that John Kerry would be attending the next day's
sermon,
and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Kerry to the
congregation and say a few words that would include calling Kerry a
saint.
The Cardinal replied, "No, I don't really like the man and there are
issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Kerry's
views."
Kerry's manager then said, "Look, I'll write a check here and now
for a
donation of $100,000 to your church if you'll just tell the
congregation
you see Kerry as a saint"
The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use
the
money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."
As Kerry's manager promised, Senator Kerry appeared for the Sunday
sermon
and seated himself prominently at the edge of the main aisle. During
the
sermon, as promised, the Cardinal pointed out that Senator Kerry was
present.
Then the Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, "While
Senator
Kerry's presence is probably an honor to some, he is not my favorite
person. Some of his views are contrary to those of the church and he
tends to flip-flop on many other views. John Kerry is a petty, self-
absorbed hypocrite and a nit-wit. John Kerry is a liar, a cheat, and
a
thief. John Kerry is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever
personally
witnessed.
He turned on his buddies in Vietnam. He wrote a book and portrayed
himself in the best light when he was a traitor to his fellow
servicemen.
He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself
in
for a medal. He married for money and is using it to lie to the
American
people. He also has a reputation for shirking his senatorial
obligations
both here, in Washington, and in Massachusetts. He simply isn't to be
trusted."
The Cardinal completed his view of Kerry with, "But, when compared
to
Senator Ted Kennedy, Senator Kerry is a saint."